What’s the Point of Healing?

154 Comments / All About Healing / By

Sometimes I stay up late, pondering what the fuck I am even doing with my life,

wondering if the path that I am on is even right, or one that I even like.

Am I setting boundaries correctly? How do I stop projecting?

Am I feeling my feelings? or am I wallowing in a never-ending phase of grieving?

How do I let go and surrender? How do I quit feeling like I am just a pretender?

Oh fucking great, just when I thought i was at peace with myself,

now there’s someone I barely know triggering another unconscious internal hell,

Ugh, when am I going to be past this phase? I can never really tell.

I sometimes feel caught in a continuous spell, a constant state of just trying to stay well.

Emotional eating again, though I know this pattern does not serve me any good in the end.

Why the fuck am I caring about how another human perceives me? Do I really give a shit about this boy who constantly deceives me?

How is this relieving? trying to believe in something that doesn’t even care to receive me.

So why? Why do I continue to heal? When all that I reveal is just a myriad of false tales that have been held and internally sealed?

Seriously, what’s the fucking appeal?

I see it all so clearly; Every pattern, every fear, every insecurity.

So, how do I get to the final destination? Where I am no longer naive? Or a victim to this grief?

Is healing really something that I can achieve? It all feels so fucking draining.

Well my friend, maybe healing isn’t about reaching a destination, and is more so just a continuous reincarnation.

a deconditioning of every degradation from your own human sensation.

That same sensation that allows humans to stay in relation with one another,

healing is where we uncover and start to discover the real reason behind the illusory suffer.

Maybe that’s what life is about, learning to love the journey of just being a fucking human being.

It’s not about perfection, it’s about progression. Perfection is a never ending ceiling, where as progression is just a consistent revealing.

To experience the heartbreak, to experience the job loss, the doubt, all of the feelings,

so we can also experience the love, the joy, connection, the happy tearing,

Healing is never ending, but it also means you can take off the mask and stop pretending to be someone you’re not,

someone that was just an amalgamation of everything that wasn’t meant for you, you no longer need to internally rot.

So maybe that’s the point of healing, not only to decondition from everything that you’re not, but to also just give it your best shot. 

Learning to enjoy the journey and live in the present moment, because the present moment is all you really got. 

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