I no longer crave your sorry.
I no longer crave your sympathy or your apology.
I no longer rot in the resentment and confusion on why you couldn’t see how you hurt me so bad,
Because I realize that people who hurt people just have an unhealed inner child that is still lonely and sad,
and it would be a pointless conversation with someone like you to have.
I no longer crave your sorry, or your sympathy or apology,
Because now I crave my own apology, for minimizing myself & for allowing such misogyny on my own body.
For allowing the constant gaslighting, or blaming myself for your own internal fighting,
I apologize to myself for not recognizing the narcissistic spell that I was under,
as this was the only kind of love I was taught to receive from my own mother.
Despite the hurt that has been caused, I don’t wish you ill, I actually wish you well.
I hope you know that all I wanted to do was save you from your own personal hell,
and I am sorry if all I did was fail.
Maybe trying to save you was just my attempt at trying to save myself,
But that wasn’t fair to either of us, as all it did was hurt me while trying to get you some help.
These wounds that have been reopened will take some time to heal,
As trying to heal myself through you seemed like the easier deal.
But I would much rather heal on my own than try and stay somewhere where I no longer belong.
I know now that I no longer need your approval to shine,
Because without you, I have been doing just fine,
In fact, I have learned to thrive rather than just survive without you by my side.
I no longer need your apology, because all I really needed was mine.